Bamboo

Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, 

while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.  

- Bruce Lee

Have you ever been set up on a blind date by one of your “best friends” who told you all about how the guy is really good looking and he’s a perfect gentleman and he’s got a sailboat and he’s majoring in international business and he’s really into Eastern European literature?  And then he shows up for the date half an hour early in his brother’s Trans Am and he’s got a chin like the prow of the Titanic and a cooler of hard liquor between the seats and he tells you the story of how his last girlfriend ran over his dog while he makes a wrong turn up a one way street and then you get stuck on a tour boat in Puget Sound with 50 of his closest fraternity brothers and no matter how much you push him away his hands are crawling all over your body until he drinks himself into such a stupor that you are thanking your mother for making you put that cash in your wallet so you could take a cab home?  I have.

Well, as an edumacated landscape designer and gardener with some experience under my belt, that’s not the sort of best friend I am.  I will be honest with you when it comes to the issue of bamboo as a potential love match for you and your garden.  I will not tell you that bamboo has a sailboat and will make all your dreams come true.  I will tell you about its pros and its cons.

Bamboo and I have a history.  We go way back.  You could even say we have issues. 

Allow me to preface my remarks by saying I actually adore bamboo.  Really, I do.  It is remarkable stuff, one of God’s gifts to humankind.  However, as with plutonium, you have to establish boundaries with bamboo.

Clearly I’ve experienced some sort of bamboo-related trauma.  After years of therapy, I now feel safe enough to discuss it openly. 

It was the summer of my 18^th year, just after high school graduation.  I should have been out having a great time with friends, swimming in the lake and trying to get a real tan, but instead I spent the whole time digging out the dwarf bamboo that my dear mother had planted in the rockery off in one corner of the front garden, which had by this time spread across the entire front yard with the fervor of a drunken college boy.  It had finally gotten on my last nerve and no one else was dealing with it effectively, so I decided to tackle the project myself.

Now, bamboo is a grass and grasses grow and spread underground via their root systems.  If you miss even the tiniest speck of bamboo root, it will sprout again…and again…and again.  And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I learned that Round-Up will not kill bamboo.  So the only solution is to dig, pull, repeat, dig, pull, repeat, dig, pull, repeat.  You do this until it does not sprout anymore.  And if you can’t get it untangled from the root system of another shrub or tree, your best bet, short of bringing in the backhoe and removing the entire tree, is to accept that you have one spot of bamboo that will require eternal vigilance.

Somehow, all by my little self, I managed to remove all that bamboo back to two little spots – one in the rockery and one tangled up in the root of the cherry blossom tree.  Good enough.

There were also two stands of a larger clumping bamboo which looked very smart when they were young, but grew out of proportion with their location and one was too close to the house, wreaking havoc with the foundation and the rock wall that kept the front yard from sliding down into the driveway. *  In later years, when it came time to remove these unholy mofo’s, it took an able-bodied husband with a pick axe followed by several visits to the chiropractor.  (This may have been one of the minor events that, combined with a multitude of other minor events, finally led up to our divorce.  Loved him dearly, always will.)

Listen, folks.  I’m not trying to talk you out of planting bamboo in your garden.  I mean, it’s gorgeous stuff and there’s nothing like it to give a garden that instantly lush, tropical feel.  It’s iconically graceful beauty provides a wonderful privacy screen, it grows pretty fast, and you can use the wood for so many different things.  I’m just saying PLANT WISELY.  As with all things, it’s about the right plant for the right location.  So before you plant that beautiful clumping bamboo next to your back door where it’s going to send its roots right through to your kitchen sink, do a little research (or hire a professional) and think it through.  And the last thing you need is bamboo roots running under the fence and coming up in your neighbor’s lawn.  They will not like you for this and will talk about you behind your back at the annual block watch party. 

Everyone tends to define low maintenance and low litter a little bit differently.  One fellow loves to rake leaves, but for the next fellow it’s his personal hell.  Let’s look at some photos of bamboo that has been left to its own devices for several seasons.  This is in the desert and is receiving very little water.

Notice the accumulation of leaves and how tightly the trunks grow together.  

Here is another photo of the same kind of bamboo that receives probably weekly or monthly maintenance and plenty of water (the kind of thing you see at that cool restaurant that employs a team of landscapers to maintain the patio garden).  In this photo the leaves have been cleared and the trunks thinned substantially.  (This isn't the best representation of well-manicured bamboo I've come across, but it'll do in a pinch.)  I think it's kind of magical when you see a large area of well maintained bamboo in a garden.

If you are hell bent on planting bamboo in your garden, choose a spot where it will be able to grow to its full glory without disturbing the peace of the neighborhood.  And I strongly recommend using a root barrier.  There are many nurseries that specialize in bamboos in all their diversity as well as the accoutrements required to keep it contained.  One in particular stands out in my mind and their website is terrific.  It's the Bamboo Garden Nursery in Portland, Oregon:

The Bamboo Garden Nursery

Let's see what they have to say about root barriers:

Bamboo Root Barrier Installation

If I have (unintentionally) scared you away from planting bamboo, but you still want the look of it in your garden, consider the alternative of using structures or furniture made of bamboo wood instead.  It is a most sturdy and long-lasting substance.  You can build all sorts of things with it. 

Bamboo is unsurpassed as a renewable resource.  You can find bamboo flooring, furniture, umbrellas, chopsticks, wind chimes, chopping boards… the list is virtually endless.  I even have luxurious bed sheets made of bamboo.  I typed in “bamboo” on Amazon and it came up with 71,514 results!!  Here are a few of my favorites.

Oh, I could go on and on.  There's almost too much to choose from.  You get my point.  (By the way, the bamboo sheets are fabulous.)

But wait, there's more...

Dick Van Dyke is truly scrumptious.

YOWSA.

*Not all species will do this, but this is my personal experience with this particular species of bamboo.

Original material © 2011 betsylolafalanadowling.blogspot.com, Brain Fuzz & Betsy Dowling, All Rights Reserved
Image of Bruce Lee from http://www.oneinchpunch.net/2007/10/28/10-kick-ass-facts-about-bruce-lee/
Bruce Lee quote from http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/brucelee132153.html